Selfish

"Selfish". Now there's one of those things which I just don't understand. Everyone always looks out for themselves. It is the rare individual that is able to look beyond himself, out onto the bigger picture and for the greater good.

To get ahead sometimes you just have to be selfish. That's one of the innumerable truths of life. Sometimes you just have to put yourself first. So why does everyone say being selfish is a bad thing? If being selfish occasionally is a necessity for progress why is it always portrayed negatively? I guess its a timing thing. Theres a time and place to be selfish - and a time and place to be selfless. Another question of choices i suppose.

There are times when even people of the highest integrity and moral disposition have to make questionable calls. Its just part of life. Holding it against them is something you could do. But in the neverending quest for betterment some difficult decisions have to be made. Which is more important Justice or Compassion? Does the end justify the means or is the journey more important than the destination? Is it more important to conduct oneself with integrity at all times at the expense of progress or the betterment of oneself?

Some people can actually live with making reprehensible decisions. Its called being utilitarian. My brother is one of them. Mum hates us drinking. But being boys, alcohol is a fairly unavoidable part of growing up. I always tell mum whenever I'm out for a pint. Jon on the other hand says he's going to stay over at a mates' place. The result is that I end up in an argument and Jon gets away with blue murder. Its just one scenario out of a million. Rather than saying what I think my parents want to hear, I say what they need to hear. And Jon says what they want to hear. The result is that my relationship with the is fractious due to an overwhelming honesty. And Jon gets the lions share of whatever he wants because he knows how to "endear" himself to my parents.

Some might call it being two-faced or hypocritical. But to him, the end justifies the means. And therefore "right" is a purely subjective scenario. He's happy to live like this and its a personal choice that he has made. Personally I find it morally reprehensible and I can't sleep at night if I lied to my parents about where I was and what I was doing. But then again thats just me. So if I was to be utilitarian about it, I'm being selfish - because I place the importance of my conscience above the sanity of my parents. At the end of the day, the end justifies the means, and to Jon his relationship with our parents has flourished because of his hypocrisy.

I'm not saying one is right over the other. Its just a different approach to life and how your moral makeup invites one to perceive certain situations. Am I being selfish? To a degree I suppose. Is it a bad thing to adhere to ones principles at the expense of a vast number of other things? Its certainly selfish - but does that make it bad? At the end of the day perspective is what determines right or wrong.

And I love my brother - I would never impose my views and principles on him or anyone else for that matter. We just have different views on life and to each his own.