A movement in time

Sometimes I wonder why time either flies by...or crawls along. Theres no in-between. You either have wayyyy too much time on your hands...or you just don't have any time at all. Its quite an unusual occurrence, but not rare. Everyone at some point either finds themselves swamped down and scrambling for time, or struggling to watch the minutes tick by.

The solution? I'm not quite sure...My conclusion is that its all about the proper organization of time I suppose. One could properly pace oneself in everyday doings, so that every single minute is used to the fullest. Today I got up, and I wanted to laze about. But I went for a run instead. Which led me to realize that sometimes, even when the chips are down, you just have to go out and do something about it. Make it work for you. Leading a more fulfilled life means doing what you want to, when you have the time, instead of procrastinating, or saying you're tired or that you can't be bothered. Nothing lasts forever...and noone knows what tomorrow brings.

Over the last year or so I've had a long hard look at myself and the things I want. And I want more. And I'm glad to say I'm getting there...and I won't stop because I will always raise the bar time and time again. And jump...and keep jumping because nobody is perfect, but I can damn well try my very best. I'll struggle along, but failure is never final, success never ending. If I work harder and longer and make more sacrifices than everyone else, I'll achieve what I want. And that to me is the most important thing on the planet. Because finally after a long while I've come full circle and realised I want more...much much more. And I will not give up till I have it.

On This Day

Dear Father,

William Shakespeare once said, "It is a wise father who knows his child". And noone knows me better than you. Noone knows the fears I have. What makes me tremble and keeps me awake at night. Noone knows my hopes and dreams - my insecurities...my strengths and weaknesses. Noone else on the planet looks at me and understands me as much as you do...or ever will. You watched me grow from child, to boy, to man. From my free smiling childhood to a more composed adult (I hope). And you more than any other has shaped my character.

As a young boy, I never realised how much love and effort you put into raising me. Those long hours labouring with me into the night so I would learn how to read. The rough treatment with the rotan so I would learn honesty, ethics and principle. The lectures to give me character. Those long morning walks to show me the world as you knew it. The foresight to teach me about the value of money. And the tenacity to do it all while labouring through the pain of a lost son. To take the risk on me, not knowing how I would turn out as a person...to invest time, money, sweat and tears into me is the ultimate sacrifice. To work yourself to the bone so for my future, in hope of a easier life for me...all without agenda, save your boundless love. I sometimes fail to understand how one man can give up so much...to labour away on a cause which one knows not the ending till decades later. But as is often said, any man can be a father...it takes a special one to be a dad.

I still marvel at your ability to constantly keep the troubles you suffered away from us at home. And there are always moments...when it seems as if nothing is well. But you always make everything right. You know just what to say...when to be charismatic, when to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. You've led by example...showing me what a true man is, fierce, determined, focussed and ambitious. While not compromising on compassion, humility, humour and charm. While I may be a far way off from tying your shoelaces, I am slowly shaping myself with your best qualities.

Like the potter who moulds diligently, you have shaped me patiently (and sometimes impatiently) and hopefully you are proud of this work you have produced. You've spoilt me for choice...which at a time gone by, I've been unable to determine for myself. But having lived life in every manner possible, from altruism to hedonism. I have determined that I will be like you father. I have realised through your example, that there is no greater calling than to be a focussed, determined individual striving to achieve my goals whatever they may be. And to provide for those who require it of me, whenever they require it. Through your example I have realised the value of prioritizing beyond the superficial and that diligence in any facet of life is required to be successful. And with this clarity of thought, I see life as a greater purpose and strive to attack it with renewed vigour in the hope that one day I will see the fruits of my labour.

While I may not be the best son out there, I truly value the example you have shown me, to see that family is the most important facet of life. I am thankful for the hours you gave up on other worldly pursuits for a simple game of catching, "tiger tiger" and football with me. Everything is secondary to us dad. And for that single, all-encompassing act of selflessness, I am speechless. Nothing I could ever say would adequately describe what you have done for me. All I can do is work my hardest...achieve my dreams...and show you how much I care. As I trudge along the path well worn, I see you in front of me...clearing obstacles ever ready to lend a hand should I stumble...And the day will come when I walk beside you, my hand on yours should you stumble, there for you always as you are for me. With as much love as is humanly possible.

Your Loving Son,
Julian

~"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."~ Mark Twain